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Not About Real Food

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I have to say that it is exceedingly difficult to write a post on a food blog during a time when I, personally, am unable to consume any food other than jello, Saltines and endless bottles of water.

I was sick on Tuesday, with one of those stomach viruses that is a “24 hour bug” if you are a child, but often proves to be more of a “72 hour bug” if you are not a child. I watched my actual child bounce back at the end of his 24 hours of languishing on the couch, and reasoned that I should do the same when my time was up. This was a grave miscalculation, and mistakes were made, including a bowl of Thai noodles. I am now back to where I found myself on Tuesday.

I am not the least bit nauseated. I can read magazines or books about food, and watch TV shows about food now; I just can’t eat any. The Revenge of the Thai Noodles is too fresh in my mind. This makes me very sad, and grumpy, and actually quite hungry. There is no one to make me Jello, and my husband bought me little plastic cups of Sugar-Free Jello that have (if this is possible) less than no flavor. They are entertaining to play with, in a mindless sort of way, but they are not food.

He claims that they do not sell such things in full-sugar form. It is ironic that this is the one time of my life when I could afford to eat 20 servings of jello with real, live sugar (its not like I’m getting calories from anywhere else), and I am stuck with my sugar-free, flavor-free cups of nothing.

As for the crackers, I do love a well-turned Saltine, and it is true that one only truly appreciates their simple perfection when forced to eat them without cheese, peanut butter, or tomato soup. (Hmmmmm… tomato soup….). They are crisp, flaky, salty, and pleasantly filling if they are the only food consumed in a 24 hour period. I hope that I will continue to appreciate their intrinsic value after I am back to eating food again, and keeping Saltines around mainly to perfect my soup.

I am whining, I am pathetic, and if you came here in search of a recipe or even a glimpse at my highly refined wit and legendary modesty, I apologize. I’ll be back, and you can bet I’ll be cooking and eating. For now, I will watch Lidia Bastianich cook something molto delicioso while I lie on the couch like Camille, hoping that someone will love me enough to find me some jello with some damned sugar in it. (Lime is my favorite).

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About imagineannie

I feel like I'm fifteen - does that count? I'm lots of things, I get paid to be the Managing Editor for a local news publication, and I love my job. I am also inordinately fond of reading, animals (I have four), elephants, owls, hedgehogs writing, tramping in the woods, cooking India, Ireland, England, avocado toast, Sherlock Holmes, Harry Potter, Little Women, Fun Home, Lumber Janes, Fangirl, magic, Neil Gaiman, Jane Austen, YA books, not YA books, classical music, Salinger (OMG SALINGER), Brahms, key lime pie, indie music, podcasts, sleeping in, road trips, marmalade, museums, bookstores, the Oxford comma, BBC, The Miss Fisher Mysteries, birdwatching, seashells, kombucha, and stickers. Not a huge fan of chewing gum, jazz, trucker hats or dystopian and/or post-apolcalyptic fiction (but I'll try anything).

7 responses »

  1. cute…

    but think of all the weight you’ll lose

    Reply
  2. Hope you feell better soon!

    Reply
  3. imagineannie

    Claudia, I am SO counting on that. I will then make your crab salad, it it all myself, and gain back all the weight.

    Chris, thanks! I am not a pleasant sick person, and I think my family wishes that I would either get well or just die, already.

    Reply
  4. Sorry to here you’re still down. Puking really does stink. It’s is one thing that I would avoid at any cost (sometimes you just can’t avoid it, though).

    There is such a thing as real sugar Jell-o cups. Thanks to grandma I have some in my fridge that no one will eat. Unfortunately it’s cherry and unfortunately you do not love next door, or I would make you some real lime Jell-o (which I also have in my pantry for a batch of popsicles).

    Reply
  5. Barbara, I know that you would make me lime Jell-o. You are just that kind of person. Fortunately, so is my friend and neighbor Alice who read this and brought me…real Jell-o. Next time I’m in Ohio, maybe I can take that Cherry Jell-o off your hands; I’ll trade you something good.

    Reply
  6. Of course I brought you the disgusting strawberry kind…. Hope you’re feeling better. There is a distinct lack of good smells wafting over from the Forest Street Kitchen. (Though I appreciate the cat who remains in the upper cabinet looking nervously down on us all.)

    Reply
  7. imagineannie

    Alice, it was the nectar of the gods compared to the stuff I’d been eating. I also believe that it had curative powers. I begin cooking again tomorrow, and by the time you get home, you should be able to smell barbecued pork chops and rice pilaf…..

    Reply

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