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Oh No You Didn’t

As a general proposition, I am very fond of allrecipes.com. If I need to find the best recipe for, say, flaky pie crust, I know that on allrecipes I will find at least 50 choices, sort-able by reader ranking and bolstered with tips from said readers about how the recipe worked in practice and what changes they recommend. It’s not a Wild Kitchen Adventure sort of site (actually my brain is my best resource for that kind of cooking)  and it isn’t necessarily the place to find the cutting edge haute cuisine of the day straight from A-list chefs. (although I have found some pretty interesting things). It’s a reliable source for recipes that work, and in my experience, the highest rated recipes always do the job. Some of the workhorse recipes of my repertoire, from my lasagna to my marinated vegetable salad come from a fruitful search of allrecipe’s bounty.

Based on my deep and abiding trust for the allrecipes community, I signed up some time ago to receive a daily recipe via e-mail. The format is excellent; I receive the recipe du jour, along with a vegetarian alternative, a budget-friendly version, or a dessert or cocktail suggestion. This is a handy little package if the recipe is something I might cook. Sometimes it is. I have tried and liked several of these offerings, including Greek Chicken Pasta, Mongolian Beef, Chicken Taquitos, and Dijon-Tarragon Cream Chicken.

However.

Last week, I received a recipe for “Raspberry Kielbasa Over Cheese Grits.” The recipes come in while I am sleeping, and I hadn’t yet had a cup of coffee; thinking that I had, perhaps misunderstood the nature of the recipe, I opened the message. There was no mistake: it was a recipe that called for kielbasa, raspberry preserves, mushrooms and cheese grits. I have eaten snails, unidentified dim sum, and tiny Korean fish with their heads on, but I cannot in my wildest dreams contemplate the intentional preparation or serving of kielbasa with raspberry (mushroom?) sauce. I like raspberry preserves, sorbet, pie, berets, cobblers, blintzes, and can even readily conjure a raspberry sauce for chicken, duck or venison, or drizzled over a baked brie. I draw the line at polish sausage. (True confessions, here: I do not like kielbasa very much, but I swear to you that this has nothing to do with my revulsion about this recipe. It’s just sick and wrong).

God bless the contributor of the offending recipe; he or she is probably far more sophisticated than I will ever hope to be. Or far less. I haven’t figured it out quite yet. I will not link to the recipe because I would hate it if someone posted a recipe of my creation as the object of shock and horror. Besides, you aren’t really going to make it, even if I show you where the recipe is. It would be like stopping by Frederick’s of Hollywood under the guise of buying a negligee and a new whip, when you really just wanted to see whether there were any men there picking out size 13 marabou bedroom slippers.

If, by some chance, you have made this dish and enjoyed it, let me know and I will be publicly humbled. Of course I would much rather hear from you if you have made the dish and fed it to your corgi.

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About imagineannie

I feel like I'm fifteen - does that count? I'm lots of things, I get paid to be the Managing Editor for a local news publication, and I love my job. I am also inordinately fond of reading, animals (I have four), elephants, owls, hedgehogs writing, tramping in the woods, cooking India, Ireland, England, avocado toast, Sherlock Holmes, Harry Potter, Little Women, Fun Home, Lumber Janes, Fangirl, magic, Neil Gaiman, Jane Austen, YA books, not YA books, classical music, Salinger (OMG SALINGER), Brahms, key lime pie, indie music, podcasts, sleeping in, road trips, marmalade, museums, bookstores, the Oxford comma, BBC, The Miss Fisher Mysteries, birdwatching, seashells, kombucha, and stickers. Not a huge fan of chewing gum, jazz, trucker hats or dystopian and/or post-apolcalyptic fiction (but I'll try anything).

10 responses »

  1. Ann,

    12 people actually admitted to making this. 50% of the reviews on Allrecipes said “YAK”, so that puts you about adverage. Considering, the ‘Non-Yak’ reviews substituted cherry and Keylime Jelly, or no jelly at all, I’d say the numbers are with you…..

    Reply
  2. that recipe served it’s purpose
    discussion rather than anything more

    oh no you di’int – better title
    and why ruin a perfectly good corgi?

    Reply
  3. Count me out on trying that one.! I love allrecipes for the most part. But this one is to far out there for me!

    Reply
  4. Robert, I am glad to know that, unlike my day job, the polling on this is going my way. Key lime jelly and kielbasa? YAK x 2.

    claudia, I have long enjoyed the “di’int,” but have never been sure how to spell it. As for the corgi, you have a point.

    eric – step it up, dude; you are far more articulate than that,

    Christina, I agree. I’d rather have eggs. 🙂

    Reply
  5. no I ain’t

    Reply
  6. Eric: raspberry noise. 🙂

    Reply
  7. welp, i don’t have a corgi…..but i do have dawgs and i love ’em too dang much to subject ’em to a recipe like this. frankly, if i DID, in fact, serve it to them, i’d expect to come home to an empty house……and they (the dawgs) would have help the bad guys cart everything out too! lol

    ps….yes, i’m back and have lots of catching up to do

    Reply
  8. kk…..the election is now a thing of the past……..where’s our annie?

    Reply
  9. jayedee, where were you? What were you doing? I am obviously back, barring some sort of bizarre runoff election (unlikely since we were slaughtered) and I am ready to go to your neck of the blogoshphere and check up on you….

    Reply

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